Friday, Jun. 12, 2009

Following blueprint won’t be easy

When I was growing up, the last thing I thought about was marriage.

Oh, sure, I thought about what it might be like to be married at some point in my life, but to be honest, those thoughts were tucked back deep in the recesses of my mind.

I was lucky enough to live in a wonderful home with two of the most amazing parents any kid could ask for. I didn’t even know what a divorce was for much of my youth. My parents — Jim and Judy — were the model couple, and still are. They knew how to do it. They made it look easy.

Being a naïve kid, maybe I just didn’t see the problems. If there were any, they hid them well. They made sure that my two sisters and I never knew if there were any problems. For all I know, they could have been a couple of ducks floating along in a pond—gorgeous and stoic on the surface with their legs going a mile a minute under water, just below the surface, where no one could see.

But the older I get, the more I learn about my parents and the more I realize that was not the case. What you saw was what you got.

Their love and their passion fostered a remarkable family dynamic that thrives today, just as it did when I was a snot-nosed kid running around causing nothing but headaches.

They have been by my side for 39 years. They’ve suffered for me, sacrificed for me and loved me every single minute.

They were proud of me when they didn’t have any right to be. They were proud of me when I had no idea why. And that’s why I still look in such awe of what they have been able to do for more than 43 years.

They made it a point to make sure that I wanted nothing, often to their own sacrifice. They went without for so long so that Allison, Ericka and I could have so much.

Sure, that has little to do with marriage. That has more to do with being good parents, but I think the two go hand in hand. Because they have had such a good marriage, they have been such great parents.

When I think of marriage, I think of my parents.

That’s what I was thinking when I asked Aisha to marry me last summer. That is what I will be thinking of today when I marry her.

As the day unfolds, I will be thinking of everything they have taught me, everything they have shared with me and everything they have showed me.

Thanks, mom and dad. You’ve taught me well and showed me the way. And I couldn’t have a better woman at my side as we begin our life together.

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